Let me preface by saying, “I’m not pregnant.”

It seems as if from Day #2 of being married every time I say,”Guess what?”, my family replies with shrieking excitement, “YOU’RE PREGNANT!”.

To which I reply back, “No, I picked a weggie without my hands today and I thought you would be proud.”

Both sides of Nate and I’s family are definitely not pushing us to wait to have children =) It’s not like they’re pushing us to begin a family either, but our mommas are ready to spoil them some grandbabies. And of course, with both of them having such a quiet and meek personality, it’s not like they voice their opinions LOUDLY and OFTEN or anything (insert sarcastic wink here).

Anyway…all this to say that the prompt that this bloggy thingy gave me to write about was, “Write a letter to your future grandchildren.” Since I can’t even imaging having grandchildren at this point in my life , I thought I would give this a stab to a future child.

I’ve never actually thought of what I would say to he/she/them so forgive me if this is a little jumbled:

Dear uh…YOU,

I cannot believe that you have made me a mother. I feel compelled to either get a mom haircut or learn to play the piano.

I have many unrealistic expectations for you: Speak several languages by 3rd grade, learn to play the harp so you can receive a fat scholarship to a top University (Thank you Kate & Evan Staggs for this inspiration), appreciate and dominate in several key sports, and be an avid chef as to limit the years I have to cook for our family. But, I kid.

There are so many things that I cannot wait to teach you; to show and model for you. I hope I can show you how to love life and love Jesus most of all. He will transform your life in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine. When I think about my life even thus far, I can definitely say that the most fulfilling and wondrous experience for me has been walking in relationship with God. He cares for you so much more than I even have the capacity for. Don’t waste years of your life trying to find a wholeness in your Spirit without Jesus. I’ve tried. I’ve failed.

I know that having your parents in ministry will not be easy for you. There will be days when you absolutely hate what we do, and will wish for us to have chosen a 9-5 desk job with no ties to peoples’ hearts. I remember feeling the same way countless times growing up. I hope you can see in us the importance and joy found in investing in people. You will find that so much happiness comes in serving and loving others well.

I want you to know, that you were made with immaculate care and thought. Your body, your talents, your personality, were all crafted by a loving Father. You are celebrated. You are enough exactly as you are. I will reaffirm your identity often, and be mindful to continually walk in the Spirit so I don’t portray the opposite, in my view of myself, of what I say to you.

You cannot possibly perform for my love. I have no expectations that you must live up to.

I. AM. FOR. YOU.

I will be the annoyingly enthusiastic mom for wherever you feel your passions lie. You may have to be patient with me if you choose to pursue anything but sports. I’m not really sure what’s appropriate level of cheering for ballet performances, orchestra recitals, art shows etc. I’ll try not to be loud and obnoxious, but I cannot make any promises. Just know that I love you…and I can park around the corner so no one knows you’re associated with me.

You will become my most important ministry. Walking through life with you will erupt in me a contentment of being exactly in the place you were created for. Honestly, I hope by the time you arrive, I am more mature and selfless than as I’m writing this. I’m sure you will bring out a nature in me that no one else can, and one that I have doubted exists in my character.

I cannot wait to make a lifetime of memories with you.

I already love you.

Megan – a.k.a. The coolest future mom in North Lawrence, Ohio, [Population: 12]

 

What would you say to your future children? Or, if you know me, what would you say to mine? =) Leave me a comment, peeps!!

Confessions of a Blog-Stalker

“Hello, my name is Megan, and I’m a blog stalker.”

“Hello, Megan.”

Alright, let’s get started…..

It’s a problem, I know. I could spend hours a day reading blogs online. There are just so many GREAT bloggers out there [naturally, most of them are women =) ]. I love reading about other people’s lives, especially those in ministry. I can relate to these women, gain wisdom from them, and of course, laugh at their lives without them knowing =) But, as much as I like these blogs, I’ve found that reading them has had a definite effect on my own blogging.

I have actually had a lot of fun blogging lateley about silly things; Smoker’s lung & basketball, Bubble baths, my little sister etc. I’ve become more consistent, and I really enjoy the writing aspect of putting my thoughts down on, well, screen.

But, as much as I have enjoyed blogging, and blog stalking, I find myself trapped in this ever familiar struggle. Again.

Comparison.

I’m guilty of it so much more than I would like to admit. Fighting it takes a second-by-second focus. Thoughts run through my head about my ineptness or inadequacy compared to all these other women with unbelievable blogging talent. It stops me from writing about my heart, opinions, and passions. It stops me from writing seriously, because I only see myself falling short.

And don’t let me fool you into thinking that this stops in the blog realm of my life. This ugliness of comparison has shown it’s face in nearly every single area of my life:

Appearance. I believe the lie that other women are made so much more beautifully than myself. Comparing my body to other women I see is so second nature that I hardly recognize it anymore. My mind runs away with itself leaving me feeling ugly, ashamed of how I look.

Leadership. I don’t see the abilities God has given me to size up with other women in ministry. Why would someone want to follow me? How on earth could I impact a girl’s life for the gospel? I might as well refer her to someone else, for her own sake; so she can grow and get the best direction.

There are so many other realms of my life that I struggle comparing and measuring up to others. So often I think that if I tell anyone about this, I’ll be looked at differently, judged, not trusted. So I hide. I hide in my struggle and keep my emotions in the dark, in the dark where the lies grow stronger.

A good friend reminded me recently that it’s so hard to make progress or believe the truth over the lies when you aren’t telling anyone about it. In all this, the Lord has been so gracious to me in putting women in my life who continue to speak truth to me, and remind me of who the Lord says I am. I am sooooooo thankful for these women, and continue to process with them and the Lord daily.

So here’s to blogging, and blog stalking, and being content with yourself exactly how the Lord fashioned you before the beginning of the word.

Take a look at my James 5:16 hotties – “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

Lindsey Rapp- Jesus is the only reason we're friends =)

Badger Women (Long Story)...Satan is a fiduciary!

A Great Slaughter & A Great Savior

Usually I’m not all about jocking off what others have written, but this short little article is so good. What a great reminder than I often try to avoid. 

WARNING: Conviction will most likely follow after reading. Some may experience deep feelings of a needed life change.

A Great slaughter and a Great Savior

By: Jeff Lark

In yet another attempt to help my kids (ages 12 and 10) get into the Scriptures, on February 4 we decided to read through the New Testament together in a year. So, with the best of intentions, our reading for that first night was Matthew 1 and 2.

I don’t know how many times I’ve read these chapters…and how many times I responded just like my daughter did that night. After she read, we began to dialogue. One of the first things she said was, “I am planning on journaling after I read, but I just couldn’t after I read these chapters…so and so was the father of so and so down to Jesus…and then Jesus was born, there was wise men” and it’s as if she said, “and yada, yada, yada.” And, it’s as if she said in a tween voice, “come on dad, didn’t we just celebrate Christmas just over a month ago? “Oh my gosh, do you think I’m that dumb that I would forget the story that quickly?”

But, instead of reading for information, I began to press her for transformation. I asked a version of the two questions that we were trained to ask in the Bible Study Methods class – “what does this passage say about mankind that requires God’s redemption?” and “what does this passage say about God that provides man’s redemption?”

As we glanced at the passage together, King Herod’s name came up. She said, in response to the first question, “Herod killed all the babies”. As if to say, “Herod is the extreme example of total and utter human depravity…who in their right mind would slaughter babies?

Then I asked, “Why did he do it?” She responded, “Because he wanted to be the only king.” As I held up the mirror of God’s word, I said, “Just like you, right?” At first, she tried to move out from behind the mirror. “I would never slaughter babies.” “But”, I said, “just like Herod, your heart’s inclination is to not like any King competing for the throne of your life.” She looked at the mirror and then looked at me with a sheepish grin on her face. She didn’t need to say a thing. The scriptures exposed her fallen condition (and mine).

But, as we continued, we saw that Herod needed the Savior he was trying to slaughter. And, we need the Lord that we try to dethrone. As much as we hate giving up the pursuits of self exultation, control, pride, rights, selfish ambition, and self glory, our deepest desire is ultimately only met in the Savior – where He is exulted…He takes control…He Humbles…He replaces our fight for rights and selfish ambitions with deep and sacrificial concern for others…and His glory is our greatest joy.

Oh, how we need the Savior we seek to slaughter.

  • In what ways have you recently seen an internal struggle to fight Christ for Lordship of your life?
  • How has Christ recently revealed to you His supremacy as the satisfaction that your heart ultimately longs for?

‘This Is Why We Do What We Do’- IndyCC

The last day at IndyCC, New Years Eve. EPIC!
Students were challenged to think of an action that they wanted to give over to the Lord in the coming year; an area that they feel God has laid on their heart to move in. After a time of reflection, students were able to text their resolution and have it displayed on the screen. Here are just a few that I jotted down:
I resolve to:
…Get help in overcoming my addiction to pornography
…Share Christ with my fraternity brothers
…Go on a summer project
…Seek counseling
… Commit a year of my life to do short term missions
…Get out of the party scene and use my testimony to get others out
…Forgive someone who deeply hurt me
…Reach the ones I find hardest to love
…Play my sport for God and try to reach my teammates for Him
…Live so I don’t need 4 more weeks (See Everything I am post below)

Seriously, I was BLOWN away by the responsiveness of our students. The texts just kept pouring in. Students were vulnerable and real. It was so obvious that these were things God had been pointing to all throughout the conference.
As we were watching these another staff member leaned over to me and whispered, “This is why we do what we do.” I almost got tears in my eyes. He was absolutely right. What a privilege Nate & I have that we have been gifted and called to work with these amazing students!
As New Years quickly approached we continued to pray for our own hearts, our campuses, our churches, our leaders, and finally our country. Worship ensued; crazy, passionate, culminating worship. Then the countdown. Then the kiss from my husband =) It was an awesome night to end on.
Here’s one of our favorite new songs from the week. I hope that this touches and echoes the desires of your hearts as it did for many students this week. Happy New Year!

105 PEOPLE!!!- IndyCC

Still at IndyCC…still LOVING what the Lord is doing.

Yesterday was the Day of Outreach. The day that most students try to pretend they have the flu because they are scared to death to share their faith, many of them for the first time. Been there, faked a headache, my discipler, Lori Wagner said ‘no’. So I went. I remember my palms being sweaty even though it was freezing outside. My heart racing and my prayer only being that no one would answer their door. Funny to see how God can change a person’s perspective. Little secret, I still get nervous.

But even in their fear 1,700 students stepped out in faith and took Boxes of Love (a meal for 4 and some other basic items) into neighborhoods around Indy. The Lord already performed a miracle and took away the cold rain that hung over the city and replaced it with sunshine. (Tangent- LOVE how the Lord blesses us in the simple ways. We could have shared in the rain, but God gave us sunshine. What a delicate and personal love!).

So much prayer has gone into this day from the churches hosting our students to the staff praying that not only would we see people joining the kingdom of heaven, but also that this would be a day of growth for our students, a day that they wouldn’t soon forget. God answered our prayers beyond what we could have even imagined! Throughout the day,  2605 spiritual conversations took place, the Gospel was presented 1209 times, 587 people were connected with local churches, and 105 people prayed to begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ!

Can you imagine the New Year’s party going on in heaven right now?!?!?! 105 more people have joined the family of God, 105 more names have been written in the Book of Life. Jesus will one day stand before his father and CLAIM 105 lives to himself. 105 people. 105 hearts. Unbelievable.

Praising the Lord all day today for allowing me to be a part of soul-winning.

Everything I am.- IndyCC

We’re in Indianapolis for Christmas Conference and it has already been unbelievable! I wanted to tell you about tonight’s meeting….

The speaker, Kurt Heinold, took us through a narrative of a student’s life who experiences Jesus return. This student was a Christian and immediately went to heaven where he experienced the Bema, the Judgement seat of the lamb. The Bible describes this as a judgement not of sin, but of stewardship; how believers served Jesus with their life.

Kirk starts by describing in detail, heaven. Basically it came down to the fact that the student was in such awe that even a written narrative couldn’t give what he was seeing justice. Even his finite words were so captivating. I can only imagine what the real thing is like.

After heaven’s description, Jesus appears to the gathered Christians and calls each one of them by name, reviewing their life and impact for him while on earth. Each life was different, some got commendation from Jesus (‘Well done my good & faithful servant), some were embraced, each uniquely between them and their Savior. The student, Brian, then approaches Jesus and after  going through, scene by scene of his life with Jesus, he realized that there was so much more he could have done with the resources, talents and opportunities Jesus gave him. He begged Jesus to let him return to earth for just 4 weeks in order to make a greater impact for Him.  After reviewing his squandered life Jesus looked at him and said “You left your first love.” The student (Brian) was crushed. He knew that he had  spent his life mostly investing in things that don’t last in light of eternity. Those things were burnt up now and not much was laid up for him in heaven.

Then, Jesus spoke the most beautiful words “Brian, you left your first love, but your first love NEVER left you. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

What an amazing, unbelievable, and divine picture of grace. After the emotional narrative, we have done what is often expected and routine, we sang. Except with many of these 2,000 students, what was once singing was now worship. We raised our hands and worshipped as if we were standing in the throne room of heaven, singing to Jesus in the flesh. I saw students straining their hands higher and higher in the air as if to grasp as much of Jesus as possible. Instead of singing, students almost yelled the words of Hosanna In the Highest .

It was probably off key, maybe some of the words weren’t correct, but it was honest. It was beautiful.

There was one girl in particular, Li, an exchange student from China. She came with my alma mater, Mount Union. During this worship time I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She is not a believer, but the pure joy and near surprise in her expression was so innocent, as through her broken English she sang these songs. I saw something so real in her that I know, I am extremely confident that she WILL come to know Jesus very very soon. Then, when the day comes that I am standing in heaven with all the believers in the history of the world, when the bride of Christ finally comes together and is able to meet our groom. Li will be there. I am as sure of that as anything in the world.

When that day does come, what will I present to Jesus? Will my Savior be able to walk through my life with me and be pleased at how I used my resources, talents and opportunities? Will he be proud of how I acted in the ‘good works he prepared beforehand for me [you] to walk in’ (Eph. 2:10)? Will the Alpha and Omega, King of Kings and Lord of Lords be able to look into my eyes, which he himself crafted, and say, “Megan, daughter, well done my good and faithful servant. Enter into the glory that I have prepared for you.”? Or will I ask for 4 more weeks?

My prayer today is this:

Everything I am for YOUR Kingdom’s cause.

When you find yourself looking into Jesus eyes, what will he be able say to you?

Back Aches and Bladder Control…

So as you all can guess I’m getting older- WWAAYYY older. Actually I just had my 21st birthday on July 1st and I’m definitely feeling the effects =) Michael Brown, the campus director at Bowling Green University gave a sermon once on 21 things he wished he learned before he was 21 and I have found them to be SO insightful. Here you go…enjoy (and remember, if you experience too much conviction blame Mr. Brown and not me!)

21 Things I WIsh I Would Have Known Before I Turned 21

1. The path to finding my life is to lose it.

2. I cannot impart what I do not possess.

3. I cannot do it alone; independence and self-sufficiency will be the beginning of my demise.

4. Adulthood doesn’t just happen.

5. I am only as healthy as the friends who are at my side.

6. Who I am when no one is looking is who I really am.

7. Love is risky business, but is ALWAYS worth the risk.

8. Conformity lacks creativity, and can be downright ugly.

9. Delaying immediate gratification is one of the most important skills in life.

10. The world does not revolve around me.

11. The spiritual dimension of my life drives the other 4 dimensions.

12. Life is difficult and hard.

13. I am only as strong as my ability to deal with my greatest weakness.

14. While I cannot chose my circumstances, I can always choose my response to my circumstances. I ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.

15. Every choice counts and every moment matters. My legacy is merely an accumulation of my daily choices.

16. Lifelong learning is to the soul what water is to the body- without it you shrivel up and die.

17. I am never going to wake up one day having become someone I have not been becoming.

18. A lack of discipline in just 1 area off my life is the first step onto the slippery slope of an undisciplined life.

19. Blaming people and things for my problems is a waste of precious time.

20. God is not my genie.

21. Life is a mist, so maximize every moment.

There you have it, folks. Hope it wasn’t too painful. I’m going to go get some IcyHot and get to bed early…

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